I am starting to .. hate myself.
The accident that I should +not+ have survived 3 years ago, has changed me .. changed my opinions, my perceptions, my understanding .. it added, and removed, both my abilities and disabilities .. in short, it has thrown my world around.
I am not the same .. I have lost many friends because they don't understand why I have changed so much, and I am not able to collect any more.
Somehow I managed to find a girl that I believed, for many years, never really existed. I don't quite know myself how I found her! For over a year now we have been .. made for each other.
But it's not the same now. There is almost no contact, or when there is it is never long enough because 'HB is here'. She waits .. and waits .. and waits .. until the end of the afternoon before calling. No phone txt, too busy with her FB friends to Skype with me, won't say a single thing when anybody else is around ..
I don't know what has gone wrong .. what have I done wrong? What am I doing wrong? Why is there no interest anymore? I cannot call anymore, I cannot txt anymore, I can't do things for her anymore, I can't do anything .. I was invited to go away, but plans changed so I won't get any time with her on our own. I am losing ..
Why .. How .. ?
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